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Unfortunately, judgment is an inherent quality of being human. Early humans had to quickly and efficiently judge things to decide if something or someone was dangerous or not. Life was not easy for early humans and we survived because we lived in complex and highly entwined communities. We had to be really good at deciding if something was a threat to our safety and our social status.

So in turn, the quickest way of discovering the things in your life that make YOU feel the most shameful is by listening to the things you silently think or feel about other people. Shame is often hidden beneath layers of internal dialogue and long-held beliefs or stories we tell ourselves, which makes it impossible to cure. Once we can see shame for what it is by analyzing the judgments or emotional reaction we have towards other people , we can start doing work on it.

Compassion for others is an inside job and its absolutely essential to building relationships. We cannot even begin to have compassion for other people until our internal dialogue is on point. These judgments and emotions we feel towards other people are often a direct symptom of the things we feel about ourselves. Things like not being:. Connection is a result of feeling those things and knowing you are worthy of love regardless. We end up so guarded by fear that we refuse to let anyone in that could possibly hurt us.


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When we do let people in and feel that twinge of vulnerability, thediscomfort is enough that we end up hurting others:. We can be so destructive with our misguided fear. Unfortunately, this is a toxic cycle. So then we leave, or hurt them before they can hurt us. Or worse yet, we keep people on the backburner, mildly warm to us but never letting them in close enough to really start something.

Mastering Depression and Living the Life You Were Meant to Live

What a difficult way to go through this life. We end up leaving a trail of half-baked relationships, angry-exes and unkempt relationships in our wake and then wonder why we feel so alone. You can change your relationships, and in turn, your life, by first changing your relationship with yourself. You do this by harnessing these three things:. In his final days on earth, marooned in the Alaska bush, starving and alone, Christopher McCandless wrote in his journal:.

In his journey, McCandless shirks all of his worldly possessions, including deep connection, which he believed could be just as treacherous as our infatuation with money. Connection is the ultimate reason for our very existence, it provides meaning and purpose for our lives. Make massive change in your life by figuring out how you want it to FEEL every day. Follow Thoughts and Ideas on Facebook: facebook.

Sign in. Get started. Submit Subscribe. Cayla Vidmar Follow. You do this by harnessing these three things: The courage to show up authentically. Building compassion for myself by analyzing the judgment and emotions I feel towards others so I can understand the areas in my life I feel the most shame and then working on it. Allowing myself to connect with other people and taking responsibility for things I do. Thoughts And Ideas An attempt to bring all heart-touching and thought provoking writings under one roof to make an impact.

Thoughts on living with more presence and awareness in a distracted world. Thoughts And Ideas Follow. An attempt to bring all heart-touching and thought provoking writings under one roof to make an impact. See responses Discover Medium.

My sense of self-worth was beginning to heal by itself. The pain is the faulty belief system being ripped out by its roots. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

life im rubbish at it Manual

Most of us live in an intellectual way. We make plans for our life and then we try and follow them through. We think we know the best way for our life to proceed. I thought success came from going to college, getting a good job, and having a family. No one said anything about spending all this time in bed.

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But actually, it was the best thing for me. That it was something everyone did. Now think about your current situation and imagine that for your whole life, you believed that what is happening to you was going to happen. I believe the act of simply noticing and accepting how things are, right now—no matter how messy and dysfunctional they seem—is the most powerful, healing thing you can do. Photo by Dahl-Face Photography. Lisa grew up in New Zealand and now lives in Los Angeles. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice.

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Guide Life? Im Rubbish At It

Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. Click here to read more. Think Web Strategy. I thought, why did this happen to me? Pain fades when we let go of expectations. The truth is, a large part of our pain is caused by an attachment to our expectations. There is a bigger picture.

These 10 brutal truths about life will help you get your shit together

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